Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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