Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
