Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
