take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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