you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
