I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
