Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
