What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
