If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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