Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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