Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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