I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
