we have officially lost it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Enjoy the penises
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
