On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
