Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
