It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
