she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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