You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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