Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
