Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
