**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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