Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
