Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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