He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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