I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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