my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
