I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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