no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
