I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
