Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
