have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish you could order shots online.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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