A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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