I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
