I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
