dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
