so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
