Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
