hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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