Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
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I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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