would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
