Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize