I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think my fart just growled at me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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