i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
