Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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