I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
