Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
