her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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