Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I need a beard to bite.
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