So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
