I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
