i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize