Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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