Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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