the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
