remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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