i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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