still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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