just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
