Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
