She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
