i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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