are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
