He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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